To my father, the artist-photographer Ervin Marton, and Nusch Éluard, Joseph Kessel, Jean-Pierre Melville – all French Resistance fighters – and to Maya Deren, with her own resistance – who imploded without making it back.
All materials presented on this BrainBleed blog by Pier Marton are Copyright Marton 2013
[More Details Below***]
This site is related both to the School of No Media [a particular consequence of the implosion] – and to Pier Marton, the author
[one of those extremely rare few, still alive, who can still speak and use my limbs pretty much normally].
As per my first post, after my brain hemorrhage, I looked for websites to guide me along. Short of that rare meeting when I could compare notes with another survivor, there was no place on the web to consult. So… Brain Bleed!
To summarize, I went from “ICU-hell” (a body confronted to the poverty of language and the “wild rides” of delirium) to a present and constant knowledge of what I call the “arrogance of normalcy” – in other words as with many other disabilities, I am not “normal,” yet most people are unaware of it. Normalcy is just another lure. The body knows… beyond words.
So while I am neither a doctor nor a health professional (PLEASE do consult them if you are looking for more than just support – this blog nor its participants are liable for any misinformation), I am starting this site because “someone needs to do this.” This site may re-appear in a different format at a later point.
As the creator of “Brain Bleed” I reserve the right to edit or block any contribution/contributor that I deem not to be furthering a supportive environment. Disagreement is allowed but, please no flaming, rants or insults. Yes there is uneven care out there but this is not the place to bad-mouth any medical staff.
With time I will add categories but this is a mind map I created to guide me along at this point.
Please feel free to comment so I can tweak the mind-map to reflect the community of brain bleed survivors.
If you need to reach me directly my e-mail address is OMerdre AT gmail.com
That address is an homage to Alfred Jarry, the writer of Ubu Roi and the founder of Pataphysics, if you wonder.
The AVM Survivors Network has some good guidelines that I would think would be just right here too:
2. No Personal attacks
3. No Offensive content (profanity, sexual references, illegal activity subject matter, pornographic material or photos)
5. Specific doctor or hospital names mentioned in a negative context, for legal reasons.
In May 2008 – on a particular night when I thought that my mother was dying (my blood pressure went way up) – I had a brain hemorrhage (cf. symptom below*) which was followed by three weeks in an I.C.U. (Intensive Care Unit).
I spent the first part of that summer at the hospital and in rehab – surrounded by a great many people who could only make sounds at that point of their life – and the later part at home, lying flat on my back.
The first time I looked at myself, I was shocked: the skin of my stomach was hanging, the bones on my jaw and my knees stuck out, I had been drained by the experience.
Upon re-entering my office, after this extended absence, nothing seemed anymore “like before” — I realized that, had I not survived, there would have been three categories of things I would have left behind:
- 1. The things of no value, except on a personal level (the tchotchkes, small objects, books, papers, photos… ). Basically what would have become trash.
- 2. The things of value to his loved ones, the mementos… (and future trash).
- 3. The things that had monetary value.
Two categories were to be saved: what had financial value, and what had sentimental value. My office had been filled with “stuff“!
Did the significance of this insight extend beyond the objects in my office?
Although I had already emphasized in my teaching a tabula rasa approach to media, I needed to go deeper and reassess what I had taught for more than thirty years.
This is how the School of No Media was envisioned: a place where one could consider oblivion and venture into the truly unknown, what lies beyond the concepts and words – and media – we are so quick to resort to.
LAST BUT NOT LEAST: IF your family has a history of brain bleed(s) please GET EXAMINED (MRI…). It is often passed on through the genes.
My father died of a brain hemorrhage at the same age I had mine.
*My brain bleed symptom: with no history of migraine headaches, I had a, never-felt-before, huge headache.